I can't believe that it's been 28 years since I lost my mom. I was 23 and in the middle of a semester of grad school at MSU. I was at a rehearsal dinner for a friend's wedding. The test results were back and I desperately wanted to hear good news. I kept leaving to use the pay phone in the lobby to call her room. No call waiting or cell phones then. As I got yet another busy signal my heart began to sink.....that felt like a bad sign......When I finally got through the news was not good. I had to wait for someone to bring my car to me the next day before I could head home.
A 4 hour drive alone with the clothes I would have worn to celebrate a wedding and a basket of dirty clothes I'd planned to wash before heading back to school. As I drove it began to rain while the sun shone bright. I desperately searched for the rainbow. I needed a glimmer of hope and I told myself that if I saw a rainbow all would be ok. I could not find it and began to cry again. Just 3 days later my mom passed away.
I made the calls to family and word spread through our community. The halls began to fill with friends, family, choir members. They sang and prayed. It was beautiful but heart wrenching.
The truth about how quickly life can twist and turn has stuck with me to this day. The dress I would have worn to that wedding was transformed to funeral attire; mourning the end of a journey rather than celebrating the start of a new one. My life took a turn that day for sure and I've often wondered what it would be like to have her here still. There have been many, many days I really would have appreciated her wisdom, her gentle support, her laugh. When she really got laughing she would laugh until she cried. I've inherited that trait and I love it. I hope that I've been a similar kind of mom to my boys, loving them, teaching, guiding and spending time. twist wrap bridesmaid dresses
I still remember the dream I had about her shortly after she passed away. She was joyful and playing music for God in heaven. She asked me not to worry about her. All was good. If heaven is a place to eternally do what you love then that is absolutely where she is and how she spends her days. Music was her gift and her passion and I'm sure she's still filled with joy there!